What is the worst feeling for me? Being absolutely dedicated to a project, spending a year working on it, putting my heart and soul into every line of code… And not being able to work on it…
Maybe it’s my medical problems… But I haven’t been able to touch LoBD for the past few weeks… Every time I try, I just can’t. I love the site and I want to work on it… But it’s just so hard. The active member base is fairly small, but I consider them all my friends. But it feels like I am painting a boat as it’s sinking. Even if the member base stays small, and grows small, I still love it…
But why can’t I bring myself to work on it?
It has to be part of the depression I have been in. I can’t sleep, and when I can, I can’t sleep in the same bed as my own wife. I get freaked out when I hear people near the front door because I’m afraid I will have to talk to someone. I hate this pitiful existence. Next month i have an appointment with a doctor to get checked out… And I still have to see other doctors for my other problems…
Maybe then I can get back on track… Right now, I am just so… Meh…
