A day in the life of a 23 year old failure. Well, I guess failure is too strong of a word. More of a day in the life of someone who has failed. These days everyone has bad things happen to them. I am just in a rut. I got separated, no job, moved back in with my mom, and I have this damn mental illness. But I am pushing forward as best I know how… I know she is never going to take me back… I know eventually I will get a job when I can get a car, and I know that with the right medication that I can take control of my mind.
I have gotten used to having a piece of the good life, then throwing it away and starting all over. It sucks everytime, but I manage to push through. Why should this be any different. Maybe something good awaits me somewhere out there, maybe not… Who knows.
I haven’t coded or pixeled in months. I am in a creative rut… Which sucks. Art fails me, so I cannot express myself that way. I have my cards, but I can only do so much. It is a hobby I keep private, maybe more than I should.
Maybe my upcoming trip to Washington will help me find something that is missing. Maybe I will find the tools I need there, and bring them back with me and get through… Maybe I will end up staying there. I don’t know.
All I know is moving on sucks, and everytime I do, I lose a bit of myself that I can’t get back…
